DISCUSSIONS ABOUT DIVORCE
moderated by Phil Bartle, PhD
Contributions will be added to the top of this collection as I receive them
Divorce becomes personal disorganization in many ways. First, a divorcee must undergo a certain "personal renaissance", to rediscover their identity and re-evaluate their job, friends, home and issues such as therapy and dating. Secondly, a certain amount of financial disorganization to do with child support, costs of new living arrangements, financial stability, and the issue of ownership of good cuase a certain amount of stress on a divorcee. Finally, the interaction, with a family, peer gourps, step-families and others are severly impacted after divorce, which is devastating for children especially. Divorce can really put somone into an unfamiliar place which may take a while to muddle through.
From: "Morgan B"
Many people think of divorce as a chaotic process which still holds a stigma for both the married couple as well as for the children but it is not so. Divorce can be looked at as a solution to problematic marriages which result in creativity and the feeling of liberty.
1. Instead of staying in an unhealthy situation the couple in the marriage can get out of it creating a better environment for themselves and the children, reorganizing the family structure by creating lone-parent or blended-families.
2. Divorces can help develop creative ways for dealing with relationships, for both the children and adults, after the relationship has dissolved because of the new reorganization of the family structure.
3. Divorce can be a solution for women, allowing them more liberation and creativity when not having to follow the expected role of being a wife and mother.
If we can see divorce as a solution to unhappy or unhealthy marriages it would help dissolve the stigma surrounding divorce. Policies and laws would be allowed to catch to the new values around divorce to help deal with the reorganization of families, especially when dealing with the concerns about children living under the poverty line.
From: "Cori J"
Hi Doctor Phil
Our question Divorce as a social disorganization can be presented in many areas but I found 3 general areas that are most affected:
1. Hard on the children - lack of parenting , motivation can be lowered , the feeling of being unwanted, run away, or worser senarios
2. Family Economics - all mutual shared material items must be divided example: house, vehicle, cabin's, pets, friends,
3. Feminization of Poverty- single mother's or father's are usual on the poverty line or slightly above it. Less paying jobs and usual part time work to do both shift work and family supporter.
I would also like to add to the discussion in class on Friday about divorce. I believe that every situation is different. In the past centuries and in current century children are given to the mother's. But more and more Father's are given the chance to prove they too are fit parents. It's a really tough topic to when it comes down to mom or dad and who will be the better provider for that child. All people are different so I think divorce would be different for every individual going through it.
From: "Andrew S"
Divorce as a personal and economic problem for women more so than men and as the major contributor to the feminization of poverty (the 1980's to the early 2000's).
We are the ladybugs and we feel that the reason that divorce is a major contributor to the feminization of poverty because:
Women have really only been accepted within the workplace for the last 40 years. When a husband and wife divorce the women, who may have been a stay at home mom, now has to go out into the workforce and find a job. This can prove to be an extremely difficult task because many of these women who have never worked before will lack the necessary skills to succeed in the workforce.
After a divorce, the now ex-husband will tend to not lose any money. After a short period of time, males will have more money than when they were married because they are no longer supporting their entire families and therefore his expenses will decrease. Women however, especially the stay at home mothers , have increased expenses and along with the loss of money there is also a loss of time to spend with the children. 87% of Children end up living with their mothers after a divorce even though the fathers living standards have become better while the mothers will often become much worse. On average, women experience a decrease in living standard by 73%. Men on the other hand have an increase of 42% in their living standards.
There is a general neutrality with laws, however when it comes down to it, males are often favored in the respect to job positions and pay-roll. When a divorce happens, assets are divided equally. But truthfully, the male is making much more money than his female counterpart, so when the everything is divided between the two, the ruling is unjust because the males are walking away with more money per year.
We found a quote in the Families text book that we feel adds to our claims: "Women are doubley damned. If they stay home to look after the children, they are seen as unable to provide as secure financial environment that could be provided by their father" (Baker, 224). "When women do work outside the home, they are seen as part-time mothers and less commited to their children" (Baker, 224).
Andrew, Angela, Bevan and Bhusheun
Date: Thu, 11 Mar
Hi Dr. Phil,
Divorce is a major problem for children; they will experience a decreased socio-economic status, a lack of dual-parent socialization, and unstable family dynamics. With a decreased socio-economic status, children may miss opportunities that were formally attainable. Also, when lacking dual-parent socialization, they are primarily socialized by one gender instead of both. Lastly, divorce presents unstable family dynamics: children have two homes, two sets of friends, and essentially two separate lives. Divorce upsets childrens’ lives in these, and many other, problematic ways.
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